How does it feel to be single? It depends on the individual, but for me:
-lonely at times
-feel free at times
-more to do things on your own at times
These are just some thoughts I feel being "single", but the way I personally see it from what I've heard or read Biblically-it's an awesome "season" in my life to grow personally with God!
Yes, I can grow with God when I get married too, but it's not the same (according to speakers I've heard so far).
"Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am."-1 Corinthians 7:8
*Please don't take this verse literally, but look at the whole context of the Bible (e.g. Genesis 2 on "not good for a man to be alone)
There are times that I say to myself "I'm glad I'm not married" because there are some issues in my life I need to workout before I get married. I wouldn't want my future wife to go through what I'm currently struggling with. I want to be "ready" in God's timing, so I won't go through as much struggels we in society see in marriages.
5 Minutes Bible Study - Parents Without Partners 6
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PARENTS WITHOUT PARTNERS, 6 by Dr. Harold Sala
Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6
You have become a victim! Your private world collapses. Your husband or wife walks out on you. What do you do? Here's what people do. Yell, scream and viciously attack the one who hurt them. Deny what is happening. Retreat and run. Move without leaving a forwarding address. Struggle with a sense of failure, certain that you are the problem. Feel guilty. Transfer your anger to someone else and take out your frustration on that person (hopefully not your child). Keep up a front—smile, but cry privately. Get so busy you don't have time to think about what is happening. Start plotting your revenge. Refuse to see your old friends. Talk to an attorney or check out the local Mafia and get even.
Honestly, when your private world collapses you are incapacitated, paralyzed by your pain and troubled emotions. Have you ever watched a movie showing how veterinarians will shoot a tranquilizing dart into a wild animal and the powerful animal begins to drag his feet, then slowly fall to the ground, and go to sleep? That's what you would like to do, but you can't. There's nothing to tranquilize your pain unless you anesthetize your life with a drink or drugs.
Getting on with your life is not easy, but you've got to do it. In God's sight, you are a person of value and worth. You count! And if man's extremity is God's opportunity, then you're a prime candidate for God to start working on the canvas which needs some help.
After my book Joyfully Single in a Couple's World was released, I appeared on nearly 50 talk shows, and most of the callers were single parents. Among their comments were the following themes.
Challenge #1 is getting your life back together personally. This means handling your anger, your frustration, and, certainly, your rejection. God is included in this transaction as well, because everything that happens to you affects the whole of your life: body, soul, and spirit. When you realize that God wasn't the cause, that He didn't fail you but someone else did, you can turn to Him and find His strength and help in rebuilding.
Challenge #2 is relationships. Callers said that they not only lost a husband or wife but they also lost a complete circle of friends. "All of our friends were other couples," one woman lamented, "and they dropped me like a hot potato." This means you have two options: live with loneliness and bad feelings or decide that you are going to get on with life. You begin to assess your strengths and make plans for the future.
Challenge #3 is managing both time and money. In a sense, managing time and money are similar. You don't have enough of either, and at the end of your day you are weary, and at the end of your month you are in debt. What's the answer? Learning to budget and prioritize is part of the solution. Since you can't do everything or buy everything, you have to determine what you will do, and learn to stop and refuse to feel guilty for what you can't do. Is that possible? Not only is it possible but it is an absolute must.
Challenge #4 is handling your emotions. When you have been wronged, bitterness begins to set in like a frost on a cold winter morning. The more you introvert and feed your bitterness the more you become a loser. What's the answer? Prayer helps you vent those feelings of anger, along with talking to a trusted friend, but not your son or daughter. The sooner you can forgive the one who hurt you, the easier it will be to build a bridge across the pain you have experienced and get on with your life.
Finally, strive to remember that others have worked through the mine field in which you find yourself. They made it, and with God's help, you will as well."
Are you divorced? Are you single and have kids? Have a boyfriend or girlfiend and have a kid together? Well, the Bible mentions you a lot!
4But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. 5The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help. 6But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives. 7Give the people these instructions, too, so that no one may be open to blame. 8If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.-1 Timothy 3
I was watching the music video called "Irene" by Toby Mac and the video shows a young lady that has a kid. The video starts with her boyfriend getting an argument with her. From there, she takes her baby in a stroller through their (Latino?) community as Toby sings. At the end, she meets her boyfriend with a gift. The song encourages young "Irene" to not give-up despite her circumstances as the Lord is watching her and will take care of her. Cool huh? Give it up to Him no matter what your circumstances are in your relationship.
Last night you had a dream you was the homecoming queen
Today you're 18, happy birthday Irene
quit school you had to drop out to raise your little child
Doesn't seem to be anyone around
You've got to reach up to touch rock bottom
The powers that be keep you downtrodden
Daughter of Zion, I heard you prayer
Just cast your cares and please beware of snakes
They come in all shapes and sizes
Tempt you, put scales on your eye lids
Don't waste your sorrows
They'll give you strength tomorrow...tomorrow
Your Calvary's about to come so
Keep your head up, don't you ever let up
This storm will pass you'll be ready for the next one
As a single-male Christian, I can give this personal advice to single people out there. Don't be in a hurry because God is just preparing you for the best mate in His time! He still isn't finish working on you in your life being single. Yes, it can be frustrating at times when you see couples holding hands in public around campus-kissing, hugging, and smooching! Don't worry, it'll be your time! Till then, look at your circumstances and life as a training season as God the Potter wants to mold you for that perfect mate of yours. I was at Chi Alpha last Friday, and I shared with the majority single men there that He is doing and will continue to do a work on you when you do get married. Focus on working with God on your weaknesses, bad habits, and struggles/issues during this off-season. You do not want to bring some of these into your marriage because those beginning years are going to be tough. How do I know? I see it with friends, young married couples, and divorced/widowed/single moms.
-"I wished I didn't marry your father"
-widow raising 2-3 kids by themselves as their "dead beat" dads found another woman
-not being able to do what they want to do (can be selfish at times) since they are too occupied raising their kids at a young age
-"I got married at too of a young age"
*Note: I've heard successful stories despite some of these circumstances or sayings above, which God works the better of their situation when they do decide to follow Him
Again, Heavenly-"Father knows best" and He doesn't want to give you something that you can't handle yet. We are all unique individuals and growing in different times compared to your peers and people overall around you.
What are some steps I can take now being Single?
- Keep persevering in your daily walk with Christ, so when you do get married-you can take these daily habits and encourage your spouse.
-Instead of taking self-pity of yourself being single, minister or encourage others by spending time in "acts of service" with other people that maybe lonely: senior citizen home, developmentally disabled youth/adults, mentor youth, widows, poor, international students, etc...
-Act as if you were married. I heard this from my local christian radio station one day-"don't stare/oogle/lust towards others of the opposite sex because it's considered adultery to "look" (lust) at a "married woman" (verse). How do you know if they are married? Well, you don't, so don't take a chance doing this to anybody in the first place. You won't do this when you are married, so practice not doing this when you are single.
-do your friend or someone in your local church a favor by babysitting their kids. You'll be a blessing to them. Plus, this is a good preparation skill by the time you have your own kids!
-learn from the mistakes of the couples you know, so you can avoid repeating what they did in your own life. Also, people in the Bible:
-David�s (�peeping tom�) affair with Bathsheba 2 Sammuel 11
-Abraham�s trouble with 2 woman �Sarai and Hagar Genesis 16
-
Be careful what your thoughts feed on
We can easily admire and envy others-especially what we see on t.v., magazines, internet, movies, romance books, etc... "Sex" and "Love: finding in the wrong places or is defined the opposite of God's description in the Bible (1 Corinthians 13) is all around us, which we can sometimes get deceived that "everybody is doing it". For example, I came into a friend's house and he was watching "Animal House" (college faternity party movie). In one of the scenes, a young teenage girl asked the guy besides her if he was a "virgin". He said "no", which the girl responded suprisingly "no?"-as if it's a "bad" thing! This is very similar to what I experience growing up with the "guys" in high school, which they thought I was "weird" or "gay". Don't buy into their immoral ridiculing! You got to remember that humans are tempted into quick satisfaction and pleasure (e.g. sweets, chocoalate, caffeine, etc...), which can lead to some serious consequences (e.g. HIV-AIDS).
Advantages of Being Single
Paul talks about the advantages of being single (some will be temporarily or all their life-Matthew 19:10-12) in 1 Corinthians 7, which is a good chapter to read relating to this topic. An older Christian married woman shared (paraphrased) this with me after I gave my personal testimony at a Christian function:
"Sal, take advantage of the time you are single. You have all that time to spend time with God and serve Him. I wish I could do this, which I never have the time (maybe exaggerating a little bit) to do this after I got married to (anonymous)."
Here are some other advantages based on my perspective so far:
-you don't have a certain time to go home and you can freely go about wherever you want (first ask God on how you can use your time being single)
-learn to not be dependent on anybody (God does want us to depend or rely one another to certain extent)
Disadvantages of Being Single
Genesis 2:18
"two is better than one"
Equally "Yoked"
What does this mean? You should be equal in faith you plan to marry someone as a Christian. Why?...
"
2Of the nations concerning which the LORD said unto the children of Israel, Ye shall not go in to them, neither shall they come in unto you: for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods: Solomon clave unto these in love.
3And he had ... ".... 4For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father."-1 Kings 11
"ST. PAUL, Minn. (WCCO) — If you’re a man looking for a woman, St. Paul is where you want to be.
Men’s Health Magazine is ranking St. Paul as the 10th best U.S. city to find eligible women.
NewsRadio 830 WCCO’s Edgar Linares Reports
“That’s absolutely correct!” said Julia Adams from St. Paul. “I know a lot of single women. I know them from church. I know them from the neighborhood. They’re good looking, hardworking and they’re tired of the bar scene. I think that’s good for guys to know.”
The rankings are based on ratio of single women to single men, the percentage of college-educated women, percentage of gainfully employed single women and the number of women who work out regularly.
Minneapolis is ranked 17th, Washington D.C. is at the top of the list and at the bottom is Las Vegas.
Men living in St. Paul agree their city is a hotbed of quality ladies.
“There’s a lot college girls walking around,” said Jason Moey. “There’s a lot of nice looking ladies.”
Jason and other ladies believe the ranking should be higher at fifth or sixth.
Find the Men’s Health Magazine story here.
*referred by a bro-in-Christ (Oct 15th of 09') thnks Eric B.! "WARNING: The following post IS graphic…I use some language that may be considered offensive by some. This is NOT an apology…just wanted you to know!
I had the privilege of speaking at Clemson’s FCA the other night and I felt led to go in a direction towards the beginning of the message that I hadn’t planned on…and so I want to expound a little on a few things here.
I said, “My daughter is going to date one day…and the last thing I want her bringing home to meet me is a ‘nice Christian boy.’ If she does that I will probably have to punch that dude in the throat!”
Why? Simple–nice Christian boys are one of the reasons Christianity is not advancing the way Jesus has called us to. Why? Because a “nice” Christian boy will go to church, Bible study, raise his hands in worship and then go back to wherever he lives, sit at his computer look at porn and masturbate. And “boys,” it’s incredibly difficult to lead the charge against the gates of hell with your pants around your ankles. (Uh…this isn’t just college students–some married men are struggling with this as well! AND let me say I’ve struggled with this and the Lord delivered me from it seven and a half years ago! Here is a post I did on the subject.)
(YES…I said that word–and if it ticks you off then I invite you to get your head out of the sand and face reality…in fact, I did an entire post on the subject of masturbation…you can read it here!)
And the LAST thing I want my daughter growing up to be is a “nice” Christian girl. Why? Because these are the girls who WILL NOT necessarily have sex with a guy…but are not afraid to have oral sex and then justify their actions by saying, “well…we didn’t ‘do it!’”
We don’t need anymore “nice” Christian boys and girls…we need men and women who are madly and passionately in love with Jesus…who have a Philippians 3:10-11 mindset, who take Hebrews 12:2 view in life, who realize Philippians 2:5-11 was the BOLDEST move ever made and who want Matthew 22:36-40 to be true in their own lives.
Someone who is in love with Jesus just doesn’t care–they do not care if they are single, they want what Jesus wants for them. They do not care what people think about the type of house they live in or the kind of car they drive…they just want to see Jesus lifted up–even if that means sacrifice. They do not care if they are blogged about and/or ridiculed–they want to know Christ more and more and are willing to do ANYTHING He asks them to do.
One of the clearest marks of a disciple in Scripture is OBEDIENCE to Jesus. (John 14:15) We can have all of the knowledge in the world–but information without application is degradation! The Bible says in Psalm 95:7-8 that if we hear His voice that we should NOT harden our hearts.
Question–is there anything that God is calling you to do? Anything you need to stop doing? Anything you need to start doing? What is it that is going to take you from being a "nice" follower of Jesus to becoming someone who is radically in love with Him?
We all fight this battle…I know I have. In the past I have overcame a pornography addiction AND also an addiction to reading what was said about me on the internet, whether good or bad. WHICH God revealed to me was actually pride–the sin that got satan kicked out of heaven! AND I am constantly fighting daily to do what Philippians 4:8 and Colossians 3:2 says to do!
BUT–the LAST thing I ever want to be is a "nice" Christian man…I want to be a fully devoted FOLLOWER of Jesus Christ…the term Christian today has been so neutered! I don’t even like it anymore. (Stay calm…the term Christian is only used three times in the New Testament.) I’ve been that “nice Christian guy” in the past–but I want MORE…I want to see John 3:30 come true in my life!!!
What term do I like? JESUS LOVER! I want to be known as a Jesus lover…someone who is passionate about JESUS! My wife needs me to be in love with Jesus. My daughter needs me to be in love with Jesus. NewSpring needs me to be in love with Jesus. WHY? Because when I love Jesus I will do what He says…and that is NEVER a bad thing!
"Nice" Christian boys and girls will not change this world…EVER…all they do is put on a good front and then "live like hell" and think that no one sees. (I Samuel 16:7) BUT JESUS LOVERS…they are “all in!” Do they make mistakes? HECK YES! BUT…when they do so they ask for forgiveness, REPENT and then move on.
My passion is to raise up a church full of men and women who love Jesus…who don’t just play games but go all out to do whatever He asks. I am trying my best to do this…will you join with me? Let’s REALLY commit to knowing Christ and allowing HIM to be known through us…and let’s turn this world upside down for Him! He did it with some guys in the Gospels…I’m crazy enough to think He can do it again!"
*see GoodnewsEverybody.com "The Church is a bunch of hypocrites…why are so many Christians so hypocritical?"
"
CBN.com – When I was single, I became involved in a relationship that lasted about eight years. In the eyes of the world, my boyfriend was a pretty good guy. I readily admit he didn’t leave me much to complain about; he treated me like a queen most of the time. I found our being together easily justifiable. Nevertheless, soon after becoming officially engaged to him, doubt crept into my heart. God began confirming he wasn’t the man for me. Eventually, I found myself craving God’s better plan for my life and tried to break up. However, breaking up, as the song goes, is hard to do!
I’ve reminisced with numerous singles caught in the same mess. They are with their boyfriend or girlfriend because they feel stuck not because they truly want to be. They’ve tried to walk away only to return boomerang style. I understand the seemingly endless cycle. It went something like this: feel conviction, break up, return to his pleading heart, crave God’s better plan, break up, return and apologize to him for ever having left in the first place, begin to doubt, break up…You get the picture.
Are you a Christian who truly craves God’s awesome plans for your life, especially in regards to marriage, but right now you don’t feel you’re capable of making the break? Maybe you’ve already tried severing ties and failed. Perhaps you’re just about ready to throw your hands in the air and settle. Don’t! Simply admitting you need to abandon the relationship is a huge accomplishment! Congratulations! I call the seed of desire in your heart, your want to. I know. I know. Some of you don’t want to break up, but you know you should. You, my friend, have the want to to want to!
By God’s grace, desire became reality in my life. I tested God’s faithfulness by abandoning what could have been a great life with a good guy, and I waited for the Lord to bring me the man of my dreams. God did not fail me. As a matter of fact, He worked such an amazing miracle to unite me with my husband that I’ve chosen to include our story in my book, Single Woman Seeks Perfect Man: Facing the Consequences of Unhealthy Relationships. God’s amazing goodness compels me to share the not so secret formula with you.
To ensure a successful breakup, you must do three things:
First, gratefully accept that the yearning you have for a better future (and a better relationship) is a gift from God.
Scripture teaches that it is God who works in you to will and act according to His good purpose (Philippians 2:13). This means that the desire (and the strength) to wait the right way for your perfect match is a gift from God alone. You must believe that the want to in your heart was put there by God’s loving, gracious hand. Humbly welcome His spirit to continue convicting you, and allow those convictions to thrust you closer to The Gift Giver. Admit that unless Almighty God continues changing your heart, you will continue blindly and foolishly trying to make something so wrong (your present relationship) feel so right!
Next, you must grow your faith.
Without faith, you’ll never risk giving up Mr. Wrong (or Mr. Right) because faith is believing without seeing that God will bring you The One He has prepared for you to marry (Hebrews 11:1)! Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God (Romans 10:17). This means, in order to build your faith, you must read your Bible. You must also pray. Why? Because while reading God’s Word is like allowing His light to shine through windows in your heart, prayer opens the front door and welcomes Him in completely. Faith is only one of the many good and perfect gifts He longs to bring you when He comes into your life (Ephesians 2:8-9). Be completely honest and consistent in your prayers. Begin now, right where you are, increasing your faith by coupling the reading of scripture with prayer. God promises to reward those who diligently seek Him (Hebrews 11:6).
Last, you must act!
Faith without works is dead. You may have heard it said the proof is in the pudding. For you, the proof is in your actions. If you say that you believe God’s plans for your life are better than your own, but your walk doesn’t match your talk, you lie. God waits for an excuse to bless you, but He will not bless disobedience. If God is urging you to break up, you must rely on His strength and do it.
The Lord says, I love those who love me, and those who love me obey me (John 14:23, Proverbs 17:8). Apart from God you can do nothing, but with God you must do something! Obey God and all will go well with you (Jeremiah 7:23). Live for God and He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4)! All things are possible through Christ who strengthens you (Philippians 4:13).
This means that for those of us who claim to be God’s children, breaking up might be hard to do, but not impossible. Wait a minute! I know it’s possible because with God’s help I did it, and you can too.
Dani Miser is the author of Single Woman Seeks Perfect Man.
6 Comment(s)
Most Recent · Earliest · Highest Rated
Blue EyesI 11 hours ago
My ex-husband divorced me in the 80's. I haven't married because I haven't met God's choice. I am trying to date, but live in small community and my church ages are coupled or married. Slim pickings, if you will. I have to depend upon God. I need input.... Thanks !
builda Oct 9, 2012 at 10:48 am
how can i know if a woman realy love mer
Sarah S. May 3, 2012 at 11:45 pm
I'm inclined to agree with Bruce. When seeking God's will, if the Bible doesn't give commandments or direction in a certain area of life, that aspect of life falls under God's permissive will. Under His permissive will, many options may lie within His will, but He allows us the freedom to choose. ... View More..
brucej Mar 2, 2012 at 11:30 pm
i think this "Gods plan" is taken way out of proportion. you say you had a great guy and you left him cause it didnt feel right??? God doesnt tell us in the scripture that i have this special one for you. He gives us wisdom on who to chose to have around us as friends and significant ot... View More..
Dani Miser, Author Aug 9, 2011 at 10:17 pm
Dear Kemunto,
I remember feeling like you are feeling after I broke up with my fiance. I too had to break off a long term relationship turned engagement because God required it of me. One of the initial verses God brought to my mind when I doubted the break up was James 1:6-8. Don... View More..
kemunto Aug 9, 2011 at 3:10 pm
I have a question ... what about people that have done this but have not found a spouse so many years later. For me, it has been almost ten years and I am beginning to feel like I made a mistake even though I know I walked away to be in God's will because the relationship was not glorifying God. I h... View More..
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Sexual Peer Pressure - Staying Christian in College Pt. 7
"The college environment is sexually charged, especially since no parents are around. How does one maintain their faith with such a promiscuous campus social life all around?"
"Compatibility Love Test Key 1- Shared Common Faith
Have you both accepted Jesus as Lord and Saviour? Okay, you’re not dating an unbeliever, but are your denominations compatible? Do your spiritual gifts complement each other for ministry to each other, and as a couple ministering to others?"
You long to give yourself completely to someone...
To have a deep soul relationship with another...
To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.
But GOD says:
"No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by
Me alone...
With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me...To having an intensely
personal and unique relationship with Me alone, discovering that only in Me
is your satisfaction be found, then will you be capable of the perfect human
relationship that I have planned for you.
You will never be united with another until you are united with
Me...Exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or
longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to give you
the most thrilling plan existing...
One that you cannot imagine.
I want you to have the best.
Please allow Me to bring it to you. Just expect the greatest things..Keep
listening and learning the things I tell you.
Just wait, that's all.
Don't be anxious, don't worry. Don't look around at the things others have
gotten or that I've given them. Don't look at the things you think you want.
Just keep looking off and away up to Me, or you'll miss what I want to show
you.
And then when you're ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful
than you will ever dream of.
You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready (I am
working even this very moment to have both of you ready at the same time),
until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life that I have
prepared for you, you can't experience the love that exemplifies your
relationship with Me, and is thus the perfect love.
And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love, in My time. I want
you to see it in the flesh, a picture of your relationship with Me, and to
enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection
and love that I offer you with Myself.
Know that I love you utterly,
I am GOD Almighty.
Believe it and be satisfied."
Movies
While I'm Waiting by John Waller {Fireproof music video with lyrics}
I remember this song when I went to her concert in Alexandria years ago. The story behind this is song is that we should wait for God's best (soul mate)... Transformed GenerationDubbed "God's Girl" by a leading Christian magazine, music artist Rebecca St. James' song remains the same: to preach Christ to her generation. Interview by Jen Abbas "
FamilyChristian.com: You are known for your commitment to prayer and purity before marriage. What advice would you give to the 20-something feeling pressure?
<
Rebecca St. James "Transform"
Transform
by Rebecca St. James
St. James: I'm there I'm 22. The thing I'm really aware of is that we've got to wait for God's best. We don't need to settle for second best, and that's something I share in concert: live God's way, because His way is the greatest way. His way rules. Don't get messed up in the junk that so many people get messed up in. I've had so many people come up to me and say, "I got involved with drugs and alcohol, and I had sex outside of marriage, and I regret it now." Don't get involved with the junk. Live for God. Wait for God's best. I'm willing to wait for a husband who will love me as Christ loved the church, somebody that will truly love me. And if he truly loves me, he's going to be patient and he's going to wait for me and he's going to want me to wait too. That's true love.
While I'm single, I can be totally focused on what God wants me to do now. I can also be growing in maturity and preparing myself for my husband. I think one of the joys of marriage is anticipating that, dreaming about it, being excited. At the same time, I can also have guy friends that I hang out with and enjoy as I wait on God's best and wait on His time. "
Adultery and Fornication - Today's Christian Videos
"What is the difference between Adultery and Fornication? €“ What do you call a relationship between two single people of the opposite sex who move in together?"
Christian Sexuality (shut down) - Inspirational Videos
"more videos at http://www.recycleyourfaith.com/ Culture tells us to be uninhibited about sex. Christianity broadly communicates "don't do it". How can single Christians express their sexuality without shutting down?"
"(Reuters) - Three women discovered dead in Detroit over the past week, including two found burned beyond recognition early on Christmas, were linked to a website called Packages that advertises adult escort services, police said on Monday.
In two incidents over the last week, four women -- all African-Americans in their 20s -- have been found dead in the trunks of abandoned vehicles on Detroit's east side.
The latest incident occurred about 1 a.m. on Sunday, when the Detroit Fire Department responded to reports of a car fire.
After putting out the flames, firefighters discovered two dead women in the trunk of the 1997 Buick LaSabre.
Three of the four women, the police said in a statement, were linked with "prearranged adult dating services" advertised on Packages, police said.
In a statement posted on the department's Facebook page, Detroit Police Chief Ralph Godbee Jr. said "deciding to meet unknown persons via the Internet can be extremely dangerous."
The city's medical examiner has not determined how the four women died. But Godbee said that given "the way the females were found and the attempt to hide their bodies," homicide detectives were treating the cases as suspicious deaths.
(Reporting by James B. Kelleher, editing by Ian Simpson)
" Bodies found in Detroit linked to online ads
From Dan Verello, CNN
updated 9:01 PM EST, Mon December 26, 2011 cnn.com "(CNN) -- Detroit police are investigating the death of two women whose bodies, burned beyond recognition, were found in the trunk of a car on fire early Christmas Day.
Less than a week earlier, the bodies of another two women were found in the trunk of a car parked at a vacant dwelling, Detroit police said.
Three of the four victims were linked to online ads that "specifically dealt with prearranged adult dating services," Police Chief Ralph L. Godbee said at a Monday afternoon news conference.
"We felt it is imperative to alert the public that deciding to meet unknown persons via the Internet can be extremely dangerous," Godbee added.
In the Christmas morning incident, "the victims have been identified tentatively and are black females, ages 28 and 29," Godbee said.
The bodies found on December 19 were those of two African-American women aged 23 and 24, and neither body showed outer signs of trauma, according to Godbee.
"We are awaiting the medical examiner's final report for the determination of the cause of death for each of the females." Godbee added.
Godbee identified the website carrying ads that three of the victims were linked to as backpage.com.
The website did not immediately respond to an e-mail from CNN Monday afternoon seeking comment after Godbee's news conference.
Backpage.com told CNN in 2010 that it promptly responds to law enforcement inquiries, and said the site includes links to help users notify the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children if they identify potential abuses.
In addition, the website includes links for the FBI, Federal Trade Commission, and the Polaris Project, a program set up to help victims of human trafficking."
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